I looked around nervously and over at the end of the beach, I caught a glimpse of what looked like a large dog, at first jogging along the water’s edge, then climbing up onto the jagged coral rocks. Whatever it was, it was big; the size of a man but not a man; or was it?As I stood silently rooted to the spot, “the creature” or whatever it was, climbed to the top of the rocky headland and stood semi-erect, its shape silhouetted against the full moon. Gazing up into the sky, it let out a chilling howl, which seemed to echo along the beach and off the opposite headland.I didn’t know what to do but as I moved to put one leg into my shorts, a breeze rustled through the cedar trees high above the beach and the figure’s head turned toward me and I staggered, as two piercing orange eyes glared right at me. Quick as a flash, the creature leapt from the top of the rocks onto the beach and bounded straight at me.As I fell awkwardly back onto the sand with one leg inside my shorts, the creature. I patiently explained that I was known as the Bearded Lady for good reason; I had a full, dark, bushy beard and was unlikely to be seen as a woman.The only response was: "Hey - kinky. That's great! The audience will love it."So I agreed, after all I consider myself second only to Rush Limbaugh as a font of wisdom on all subjects, and even he wouldn't be as well informed as I on crossdressing. I dug the wig out of the recesses of closet, found something to wear in my $9.99 or less wardrobe that matched my reddish beard and went forth unto the Studio, suitcase in hand. You didn't think I would try and go dressed, did you? The makeup person didn't bat an eye at me, but then there was a 4' tall green alien on my left and two Elvis clones on my left, one old and one young - remarkably like the stamp images.It was fun waiting in the Green Room, that's the place where the guests wait until it's their turn to go on camera. I wasn't even nervous as I had a nice talk with gentleman who was.
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